One day I stopped in at my sons kindergarten classroom which was at lunch time. I got into a conversation with the kindergarten teacher asking her if she assigns seating for the kids, and she said no. I noticed my son was at a table with himself and five girls. The teacher said that she sees this every year. The kids somehow know who they are best with and like magnets they stick together. The kids have yet to know much about the dynamics of sex, and girlfriend/boyfriend relationships, but yet the same kids are always with the same kids. She said that one is always with that one, and that other one is always with that other one. But once “identity” becomes important in the kids lives, it changes the entire fabric of everything. In the later kids years especially in the teens, “Identity” comes from the outside world of how others view a person. Now the outside worlds response to a person - choses the relationships, over the natural attraction. If people patiently awaited and followed their natural attraction instinct, the relationship would last longer and relationships would not feel like a constant test, or learning experience. But now since personal identity is so important, we have many dating services available, more divorce lawyers available, and the separation rate grows higher and higher and higher.
I understand the overall rule is: “how can you know what love is, when you don’t know what love is not.” As a Sage my center of learning is Love, and I personally have been through a lot of non loving experiences to have a better idea of what love is not. My present journey seeks an answer of how relationships can last longer and grow in love, over people pretending they have found love, while the love they think they have drives them into tears.