"Real light will bring you to your knees"
I am not telling this story of how I want the story to be. I am writing this story the way it really happened to me. There are no lies in this compilation. This story is about me. It is not meant to teach others or convince others about what truth really is. 
- For reference this story was written September 2021 -
I am not going to go heavy into my early childhood except for a few opening facts. At 5 years old I was living in Pennsylvania where I was born. My mom and dad were putting me into Catholic school and insisted that I had to wear the school uniform. I refused and got mad at my dad and then shouted at him that, “I was not supposed to be here.” “I am to have a child named after Jimi Hendrix.” “I am to have a child named after Santa Claus.” “I am supposed to be the Jacques Cousteau of the Arizona mountains!” My wife named my two sons. One named James and one named Nicholas. I moved to Arizona and wrote many climbing guides to the mountains in Arizona. What I shouted when I was 5 years old actually came true. How did I know my story when I had not even lived it yet? I was raised with my older sister Nita and younger brother Eric in a solid Roman Catholic lifestyle. My mom and dad raised us kids the best and most fun way they could so no complaints and much Love to my mom and dad!!! Eventually I was a altar boy, was in teen club and was a singer in the choir. When I turned 18 years old I left mom and dad and the church and let my soul just run as wild as it could. Shortly after when I didn’t have anything left except for my pride, I arrived in Arizona. Moving forward with the story and now I am 37 years old. So from 18 years old to 37 years old I had respect for yes, but no connection to the church or spirituality.
Marty at 5 years old
My mom Mary Juanita and my dad Martin
Marty, Nita and Eric
Even though I explained the occurrences that were happening to me, the doctor insisted that I still keep taking the pills that he prescribed. Each day I took the pills around noon time, and afterwards twenty minutes later it was the same pattern happening to me over and over. I felt a moving quivering feeling in the calf of my left leg. It was a obvious feeling that was unmistakable. Then soon afterwards I could feel my left eyeball being pushed outward. Looking in the mirror I could clearly see the eye being more out of my head while comparing it to my other eye. Then I would pass out flopping to the ground and would remain there for around a hour and a half. After an additional half hour of slowly becoming conscious again, I was back to my normal self.
​
My wife Randi and I were starting our divorce which happened in 2001. We didn’t hate each other, but we did slowly grow apart through the years. At the time we had two babies of which I was the home husband for, James and Nicholas. We separated everything we owned and sold the house. Randi found a new house and I ended up putting my items into a storage facility as I remained in our old house until the house sale was finalized. Since I did not have a job or now even a place to live, the kids went full time with Randi until I could once again be suitable in the courts rules to be with my kids within a developed child custody schedule.
​
As I sat in our old house, I felt as though I lost everything. I felt as though I totally failed as a person as I went from a full time constant work schedule of raising the kids, which at the time were nearing 2 and 4 years old, to suddenly not having anything to do. I had no bank account, no monies until the house sale was finalized, no job, no direction of where to start over, my family was no more, and my kids were taken away from me. I could not sleep but became really good at shedding a lot of tears. From not being able to sleep I could feel a massive sense of anxiety surfacing within me. It made me feel numb to the world. I could have easily stepped off of a building going with a suicide route to end my life, just to get the unending sadness out of my head. But then my curiosity was shifted. I was not with or studying any religion and didn’t even care about spirituality, but suddenly the Divine stepped in.
​
I called a doctor I had seen in the past and asked him to prescribe me some pills that would help me sleep at night. I was unaware that there were sleeping products available being sold at the local stores. As I insisted that I wanting a sleeping pill, the doctor insisted I needed something that would help me to better balance myself, which was a new experimental drug named Remeron. I was told that after taking the pills for 14 days I would be better balanced in life. I showed the pills to Randi and she agreed that maybe they will help so give it a try. The first four days I felt nothing with the pills but things started to change by day five. I felt a quiver in my left leg and then had the need to take a nap. By day eight I was passing out, flopping to the ground like becoming unplugged and completely out of energy. Randi was getting concerned with what was happening and she talked to the doctor and explained that something was not right with this pill. The doctor assured Randi and myself that if I keep taking the pills by day 14 all will be fine.
​
The next day I dropped off some paperwork at Randi’s work office where suddenly during that time I passed out once again. I was placed onto a couch for a few hours until I could regain consciousness again. I called the doctors office and insisted to see him in person and a visit was scheduled for two days later. He still told me to continue taking the pills. The following day I was at the house removing the final items that remained since the house sale finalized. The only thing that was left was the bed in the master bedroom. I was really excited to see the doctor which was scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. I took the pills again and then twenty minutes later here comes the leg quiver, here comes my eye being pushed outward, and while falling into tears I laid down on the bed to prevent myself from getting hurt knowing that I was going to pass out. As I laid on the bed I was staring at the ceiling and started saying to God, “I don’t know what is happening.” “I am a good person and I did not do anything wrong.” “Please please help me.”  Then something amazing happened.
​
My thoughts totally shifted into curiosity as I saw a blanket of fire or lightning appearing on the ceiling of the room. It was coming out of the crease between the wall and the ceiling, and it was slowly traveling over top of me across the ceiling. I was totally conscious and was in full amazement of what I was witnessing. The lightning was then disappearing into the opposite wall of the room and once the lightning was just about gone, I suddenly was in a dark corridor. I was no longer in the bedroom of my house. I was somewhere else and was fully conscious of everything I was seeing. I felt no temperature nor any pain or feeling at all. This was not a dream but something that was very real. In the corridor I was not alone. I could see a person in the distance and a open doorway that had a very bright light within it.
So my mechanical mind started to assess what I was seeing and where I was. I am a climbing gear historian and artist and that function of me went into full work mode taking mental notes trying to figure out where I was. I was not positioned in the center of the corridor but off to the left side. I could not tell if I had a body and I could not turn to see anything but forward. The corridor was black in color, but had the feeling that there was a floor and side walls. I did not see any ceiling. The corridor was approximately 15 feet wide and the bright light doorway was approximately 30-40 feet away from me. The doorway was really bright and had a thick frame around it. The doorway had straight sides to it, the top of the doorway was arched, and I could see nothing inside the doorway except the bright light. The person I was seeing was leaning with its back against the right side wall slightly in front of the doorway. I say this thing I was seeing was a person since it was standing on one leg and the other leg was bent with its left foot up on the wall. I could see the light from the doorway going through the bent opening the leg was creating. The person did not notice that I was in the corridor and was focused on picking its fingernails. I just stood there in silence.
Then the person turned and looked at me and suddenly in a quick swoop, slid over to me being directly in front of me having a huge smile on its face. It did not walk over to me, it slid over to me. This person looked like a male and had black hair. The first words were, “What are you dong here?” “You are not supposed to be here at this time.” I didn’t know what to say so I remained silent. Then the person said, “Why do you think you are here?” I thought about it for a little time thinking this had to be some God thing going on here so I replied, “Maybe because I am Roman Catholic and my wife was Jewish?” The person laughed and then said, “This place does not have anything to do with that.” That comment was the only thing I could come up with saying. My wife and I did not study any religion stuff or spirituality stuff during the 13 years we were together. The person then said again, “You are not supposed to be here at this time.” “I am going to give you something that I want you to remember.” “This is very important for you to remember this.” “Remember this.” Then the person leaned closer to me having a very direct look of importance into my eyes, (thats if I even had eyes), and said “THE ENERGY IS WITHIN, YOU JUST NEED TO BRING IT OUT.” “Remember this!”
Suddenly I felt like I was being flushed out of the corridor, kinda downward through the floor, and then wham within a micro second, I was back home standing in the bedroom. I did not really know that I had a body since I was standing 8 feet away from the bed where my body was still laying unconscious. I started being silly realizing everything that made me was still with me, while my body was over there. I kinda did a silly Dick Van Dyke dance from the movie Mary Poppins while I stood in one place staring at me laying on the bed. Then wham I was within my body sitting up and jumped out of bed saying to myself WTF, which stands for “what the fuck!!!” This was not a dream. What I just witnessed was even more real than reality itself. There is reality while a person is awake, there is dreams, but now what I just went through was more powerful than the awake and the dreams. In my mind I kept chanting “The energy is within, you just need to bring it out.” “The energy is within, you just need to bring it out.”
​
I told Randi what just happened to me and maybe it was Heaven’s Gate I was just at or something. Randi looked puzzled from what I had told her. I told my friend Robert who is very connected to church study, and he looked puzzled from it as well. So then I took a sharpie marker and drew lightening bolts on the back of my hands so I could see energy being on the outside of me. No matter where I went from that point on, my self confidence was flowing at a high level. I could feel that the Divine just gave me a invitation to become a different version of me that I never knew I was.
​
Lightening bolts drawn on the back of my hands
The next day came and I felt very alive! I was dancing within every step I took everywhere I went. Today I get to visit the doctors office. The appointment was at noon so I made sure I took the pills just as I walked into the doctors office. Sat in the waiting room for a while until the doctor was ready to see me. I told the doctor what was going on, even that I just visited Heavens Gate. He looked at me like I was crazy as he went into to full on professional doctor mode. I had a heart monitor hooked up to me as he showed me that there was absolutely nothing unusual going on with me. But then I started to feel the leg quiver beginning, and I told the doctor to hang on for a second, and then “boom” I was totally passed out again. I woke up being in the hospital and the doctor was there watching over me. He was in shock and told me that my heart just suddenly flatlined for 20 seconds, and then started back up on its own. So over the last few days my heart was totally stopping for 20 seconds due to a side reaction that the pills were giving me. It was day 12 of when I first started taking the pills. The doctor ordered me to never take the pills again. He however prescribed to me another pill to take, which I never filled the prescription. But this is only the beginning of the story. Things start to get interesting from here.
​
I was still feeling depressed from the divorce procedure and now getting used to my new schedule of working again, my new home environment, and to having the kids back with me, but only with me a few days a week. Maybe call it the ‘kid custody rodeo.’ Then out of nowhere I got a knock on the door and it was three girls I knew from the rock climbing world. They said they came to show me what life is about, but in trade I was to coach them in rock climbing. The annual Phoenix Bouldering Contest was happening in a few months time, so every weekend we would climb, and then they would take me to a restaurant for a meal and fun conversation. The girls names were Susan, Felicia and Sandy. They became known as “Marty’s Angels.” These girls made me feel alive again and assisted me on finding a new forward moving path for my life. For the competition, Susan, Felicia and Sandy all stood on the podium winning prizes for their strong climbing that day. Susan talked me through my family sadness and I give her many props for making feel important in this life for not just others, but to feel important to myself. 
Nicholas and James
Marty's Angel keychain carabiner
Life started to make sense again and the Heaven’s Gate thing started to feel more like it was a dream over it being anything else. I was back to falling into the grooves of the past Marty, and life went on day after day. The mind demanded for me to get back into societies order, over believing the Divine even exists. My Boy Scout leader friend said that he needed my assistance in guiding the scouts on a climbing adventure which will summit a local climbing mountain named Pinnacle Peak. I had already assisted him in the past and already knew of how much work these scout adventures are, but being a Eagle Scout myself, I could not say no. The day came where 38 kids and parents and anybody that wanted to climb could go on this adventure. A few of my climbing friends assisted on the adventure as I took the lead position. Climb up 200+ feet to the summit, Tyrolean 80 feet across to another peak, then rappel 120 feet back to the ground. It was quite an adventure especially for some of the scouts that had never climbed before.
But during the day I was called down to the base of the rappel where a stranger and his girlfriend had asked if they too could join in with the climbing adventure. They had just traveled from Florida to Arizona and moved into a house that day at the base of Pinnacle Peak. Their names were Glenn and Lisa. When I first arrived to talk to them Glenn was just staring at me with a huge smile. He was saying how much he was excited to meet me. I found it to be somewhat uncomfortable at first especially since I was quite busy and he was taking me away from me keeping my eyes on my important job. Glenn then broke the silence and changed the subject telling me that he and Lisa have done some climbing before, and is there any way they could join in with the fun. So I sent them over to the beginning of the climb and told them to get in line and I will see them on the summit. The day went great and nobody got injured. Afterwards as we were gathering all of the equipment Glenn asked me if he could possibly hire me to show Lisa and him around Pinnacle Peak, so they will be more familiar with where all of the climbing routes were etc. I said no problem and we were set for climbing and exploring the next day.
Pinnacle Peak. A person is standing on the summit
Pinnacle Peak summit register
Glenn Roller on the Tyrolean traverse
Lisa Cosgrove on rappel. Pinnacle Peak
Lisa on the Tyrolean traverse. Pinnacle Peak
I arrived to Glenn and Lisa’s house early in the morning to find that Glenn was supplying the lunch for the day. We went up to the AMC boulder where we climbed a easy route named Varicose. This was the first climbing route I wanted to show them of the many routes were were going to climb that day. So after we climbed Varicose, Glenn said that he enjoyed the route and he and Lisa were done climbing for the day. I was left a bit puzzled since they hired me for the full day and it was only 9:30 in the morning and we were now done climbing for the day? It was a little windy that day so Glenn asked if there was a place we could get out of the wind and enjoy the sandwiches that he made, and he was interested in talking to me. I was growing curious of what Glenn wanted to talk to me about, but I suggested that we hike over to the Y-Crack Boulder, and have lunch there.
​
We found a peaceful area to sit and chat and have a picnic lunch. Glenn started ask me how I feel. I said I feel fine and thought to myself that that was a weird question. He asked the same question again, and then again. So I became quiet in wonder. Glenn then told me a little of his background history. Glenn is a spiritual healer and was in the process of writing a book on “Awakening” people. Glenn said that when he arrived at his new house he looked up at Pinnacle Peak and saw a great glow on the summit. A greater glow than any past glows that he has seen. He did not know that anybody was even climbing up there, but him and Lisa went up there to see what this great glow was. This great glow turned out to be me. Glenn has spoken at many gatherings and corporations on how to better their businesses by bettering their people. While he is speaking he looks upon the crowd to find anybody that is glowing. If he finds a glow, which he said is actually very rare, that is a indication that the person is ready to be awakened. For me he said he was extremely glad to meet me.
I continued on eating my yummy sandwich while listening to Glenn talk, but kept my distance and remained silent. My mind of course kept asking like, “what is this guy trying to sell me on.” Then Glenn said that I have been contacted and have been invited to be awakened. Now I have become absolutely silent and probably was not even blinking or anything. I just continued on staring at Glenn. Glenn then said, “They gave you a message for you to remember.” I didn’t say a word and Glenn then said, “They told you to remember: The energy is within, you just need to bring it out.” I fell into somewhat shock. How is it possible for this stranger to even come up with that? How did he know? I sat there not moving and then Glenn scooted over to me and looked me in the eyes just like the person in the corridor did and said, “Do you think that’s air you are breathing, huh?” And Glenn started to laugh. That’s a classic line from the Matrix movie during the time Morpheus was awakening Neo.
​
Glenn continued speaking saying he knows of my past and stuff from my future as well. Then he started telling me things of my past, which were absolutely correct. It truly was mind blowing!!! But when he started talking about my future I demanded him to never tell me anything about my future. Cell phones were just coming out and getting smarter, the internet was not fully developed especially in a social sharing form, but yet this total stranger knows so many details about me. It was tough to process all that was happening there on the spot. Glenn was speaking to not one but many voices he heard from the other side which were giving him the information he knew about me. He mentioned that he has five guides, four from the Source and one from the Main Source. I kept looking over at his girlfriend Lisa who was silent throughout this conversation, and she appeared to have absolutely no weird reaction to what Glenn was speaking. I started wondering if she too has this link to the Divine as well.
​
The exploring day ended around noon and I was very thankful for meeting Glenn and Lisa. I drove down the street and stopped on the side of the road to absorb some of what was told to me as I stared at the Arizona landscape. So Heavens Gate was not a dream. It was easy to fall back into societies yoke where the mind decides what life is really about (which is all an illusion within itself), but now I can feel that the Divine wants to take the lead of me which will require my mind to be transformed. So it took a death experience for me to “see” the Divine as real. Then it took from 7/2001 to 1/2004 for me to not think about the Divine at all. The mind is really an amazing tool and seems to get what it wants. Transforming my mind will not be a easy task. Wow my heart stopped for 20 seconds so does that mean that I really died? Wow this heart stopping event happened like five times day after day. How come I only went to Heaven’s Gate one out of the five times?
​
Glenn finished and published his book “Is Anyone Awake Out There” a few months after we met in 2004. He gave me a copy of the book for me to read and be with, and I did nothing more than place it in my bookshelf since I figured I didn’t need it since I was friends with the guru himself. Over the next two years I occasionally climbed with Glenn and Lisa as we visited the Pond in Queen Creek canyon, and we climbed the Hart route on Camelback mountain where we experienced the huge killer bee hive at the third pitch. None of us got stung but we were within two feet of the hive as we hastily climbed to get away from it ASAP. I remember Lisa’s tears running down her face as we stood on the ledge watching the bees become interested in our climbing rope. Three days later is when the hive attacked two climbers on the Hart route and killed one of the climbers. Somehow we escaped a situation that we would not have been able to get away from if the hive attacked us. I thought to myself that I was lucky to be with Guru Glenn and maybe his connection with the other side gave us the extra time to escape the massive problem we were suddenly within.
A few months later in 2006 Glenn contacted me and asked if I wanted to climb a few routes in the McDowell mountains with him. I had not climbed with him in a while so I was excited to catch up with him and see what new spiritual projects he was working on. At this time I was in the process of opening my climbing store named AZ Cliff Hanger, which was located inside the Phoenix Rock Gym. At this time also I was dating a girl and falling in love with her. My schedule was quite packed but I was looking forward to climb a route or two. During the climbing in the McDowells, Glenn mentioned to me that he needed to give me a warning about something bad coming up in my future. He never met my girlfriend but described her perfectly including her height and birthdate and eyes color 
and everything. He said that in a few years she would deceive me in a very bad way. Glenn specified that, “She is not the girl for you.” I looked at him saying thanks but didn’t believe him. The rule was that he was to not tell me anything about my future. But Glenn found it to be important. My relationship grew to the point that we were set to get married. She was to become the step mother of my children and we visited both of our parents announcing the marriage. Soon afterwards I found out she was pregnant within another relationship. I was crushed. I am still crushed, but I somehow I have learned to forgive her. True Love forgives!
Lisa and Glenn at the Pond, Queen Creek Canyon
It took me many years to understand how true love forgives. However at that time I didn’t want to be around anymore and needed somewhere to escape to. I needed to be with nature in a bad way so I purchased a canoe and escaped to a magical place name Blue Ridge Reservoir. From March 2008 to June 2009 Blue Ridge Reservoir became my home. I brought along my climbing gear and I climbed until I had no skin left to climb with. Then I hiked and hiked until my legs could not walk anymore. My kids really enjoyed Blue Ridge where we camped and fished in a peaceful exquisite setting in nature. It was amazing!!!! I eventually published a climbing guide of Blue Ridge Reservoir to share with the climbing world. Then on one of the camping trips I was in the process of showing my 
kids the cool new boulder problems I found and was climbing without any fear. My son James then asked, “Dad what happens if you fall?” “How will we even get home?” I was free soloing my tall boulder problems over death landings and I didn’t even have a crash pad. “I couldn’t believe what I was doing.” It really freaked me out to the point that the next weekend I brought along a drill and placed bolts on every boulder problem so anybody in the future would not risk injury on my routes. It is a really strange feeling when you reach a point of numbness in life. You can have everything in life but at the same time you feel as though you have nothing. I then talked to my friend Justin telling him that I think I was not searching for balance, but through absolute exhaustion I was attempting to find a way to be closer to God. I needed to talk to God. Justin mentioned that for sure I need to climb with other people and stop taking the high risk chances while climbing alone. I was very intrigued on how Glenn was hearing and talking with people and guides from the spirit world. I asked Glenn many times how did he achieve this gift. He said everybody was born with this gift but very few believe so they only hear silence. The inner ears must be trained to communicate.
The following weekend was the annual Summer Outdoor Retailers Show in Utah. After four days of amazing fun, myself, Robert and Will stayed in Utah for a extra day to climb the awesome boulder problems in Little Cottonwood canyon. At the end of the day I accidentally fell off of the start of a easy boulder problem falling only five feet into a leaf pile. That's when I discovered that somehow I shattered my right leg femur bone in many  places. This is where my spiritual story really really really gets interesting.